please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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