She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
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