I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
