READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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