I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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