I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
