But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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