we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
