I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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