Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
