are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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