You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
