I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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