Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
babies were throwing up all over the place
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
