But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
