You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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