pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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