Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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