I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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