Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
