He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
