u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
