you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
