we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
