its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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