Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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