obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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