Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
