so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
