the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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