It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
