haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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