What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
