He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have feelings that need drinking.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
