THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
