In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
