Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
