You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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