Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
