How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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