Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
