The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
