All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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