okay pat passed out under dana's car
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
