i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
