remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
