wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
