I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
