So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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