did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
