I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
