That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize