I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
