yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
