Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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