Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
