If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
