I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
