the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
