At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i've created a new STD.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
