she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
