Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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