Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize